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I must be honest with myself. I keep doing the same things regarding how I mother my son. I defend, object, interfere, react, stomp my feet, take action and admit his failures while asking for solutions. What I don’t do is accept the ridiculous statements on how he “should” behave.

There are excuses and there are reasons. I choose to discuss the reasons why he behaves in a certain fashion.

The first several years there were many opportunities for Daniel. Opportunities to fail. Opportunities to consume drugs, opportunities to become depressed and sullen. He had many opportunities to learn how to be crafty to fit in.

There were no opportunities for him to learn successful ways to cope. There was no chance to learn a craft or a skill. Nothing for his recovery. Nothing to keep him excited. Just the same old tired and broken down facility with dingy clothes and worn out men.

In the last 4 years and 7 months he has been on a roller coaster that is spinning over a 3-ring circus. As he puts it “Its retarded momma.” His youthful mind would go on manic highs and lows as he maneuvered through the insanity.

Now he is giving up again. He’s tired of trying to figure it out. We are all tired of pretending it’s all okay and that he should just try harder to box the shadows.

His only source of HOPE is his family and his looming freedom. Ask the hundreds of mothers I speak to, some of whom have sons and daughters who are doing amazing, some who fear for their children’s safety as we speak.  We will all say the same thing.  We are tired of this and we can’t take  it anymore.

There is an old saying. If you keep doing the same things you will keep getting the same results.

So, if we want the madness to stop, then we must stop the madness. Let’s try something different. 

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